get away before we really suffer .

[damien wilde]

fixated, sedated
NO ELECTRIC SHOCK COULD ERASE IT

and they die another day

[/font][/i][/center]

It was frightening to him, to feel all of his walls crash down - leaving him vulnerable, open to hurt; the realities of his entire being. The emotions that fell upon him mirrored suffocation, strangling him, destroying him. Damien was completely helpless to his feelings; to the tears that poured from his brilliant eyes, glistening on his cheeks.

The person that Damien once was wouldn't have done anything close to what his vampire self had accomplished. Shutting out emotion was the only pass, giving him the ability to magnify his anger and hurt - translating entirely into blood lust. The thrill of the kill suddenly became depressing, and his entire life of harming other's was overwhelming to him, tragic to him.

The tears that hadn't fell in hundreds of years fell for each one of his victims. It was in this moment that he truly understood how much of his true self he'd pushed away, discarded entirely for the mindset of a monster. Damien found it unbelievably sinful, the crime's he committed - and he was beyond sorry. A new word needed to be invented for the shame and regret he felt.

He'd allowed himself to be pushed away from her, even though the action, in reality, wouldn't have made him budge. He stepped back, the feeling of rejection creating that all-too-familiar sting - the one he'd purposely blocked out for so very long.

"Okay, I won't do anything... It would just be, more instant, you know?" His eyes held this innocence, seemingly impossible for a vampire. Frightening that the gesture was not an act, but entirely, his true self.

Damien watched her wobble for a moment, assessing her wounds. Each time he glanced at them he winced, unable to handle that his discarding of humanity had pushed him so far over the edge. Using his vampiric speed he rushed over to her, ready to help her if the door frame was truly not enough.

"Yes, yes of course I will take you. Janet," he said, tilting her head up to him with a feather-light touch, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I am so sorry... I can't even begin to describe how badly I feel that I've hurt you. This isn't an act, Janet... Whatever you did to me... Obviously, is revealing my true self. Something I've tried so hard to hide, mind you... And it hurts so badly knowing what I've done. But if I could take your pain from you, and place it upon myself... I wouldn't hesitate," With that he touched her hand, just gently... Hoping she could see the silent plea in his eyes, for even just an inkling of her trust.

"I'm going to take you to the hospital wing..." He confirmed this, as he lifted her for what felt like the millionth time. But this time, it was much more respectful, it was completely gentle. He cradled her, and rushed to the hospital at top speed.

When he entered he disregarded everything, slipping her body onto a hospital bed. He caught the attention of the nurse. "Help her, please."

No, this time there were no phony lies, no made up stories. Just help her. And it was all that he ever wanted.

ooc: they've come full circle! lol.

[Janet Numan]

Janet was never that confident in her magical talents, even if she had boasted about them in the past. These days she was glad if she could get a simple levitation spell done right without freaking out. It seemed whenever she used magic, trouble soon followed, so it was indeed reasonable to assume that perhaps, this all to smart vampire was just playing her.

It wouldn’t be the first time, mind you. While she was never fooled for long she had been tricked a time or two in the past, but one learned quickly to trust no one, and take no prisoners. Janet had wasted her childhood and lost some of that innocent feelings along the way. Much like the creatures she hunted, she forgot what it was like to be human.

However she was again learning, and it was a hard painful path to take. Damien was like a child, sorrowful for hurting the family pet. However in his case he not only killed the cat he skinned it and hung it to dry. Not to mention how many years he had been doing this, only he knew for sure. Janet sure never asked that question. However it would be coming up shortly.

Rejection was the only thing that Janet really knew. He offered to help her, yes instant would be nice, but did she dare trust him? It was strange to feel a light touch from him, she was not even sure he was capable of such a thing. And he spoke to her, it was all to unreal. “What the hell happened if this is your true self?” she was harsh yes, but Janet was stubborn, and that was not such an instant change to get.

He lifted her up, it was different this time, strange even… dare she say comforting in a way. The speed reminded her of being on her broom, fast and powerful that she just as soon realized she was once again in the hospital wing. She did spend far too much time there.

The nurses had to have wondered what Janet had done this time, but seeing her so much just patched her up. Questions would likely be after, good for Damien it seemed. Only a few moments they had done a bang up job and left the two again. “Why?” she questioned him, this time trying her hardest to accept that her spell worked, better then she had hoped. “Who were you?” she questioned, again in a bed that she felt trapped in. Perhaps it would have been better to have been healed, but again Janet was all too persistent to take that chance.

<{(yup, I thought that too, and that Janet spends way to much time in the hospital wing, that girl needs to stay out of trouble more)}>

[damien wilde]

fixated, sedated
NO ELECTRIC SHOCK COULD ERASE IT

and they die another day

[/font][/i][/center]

Once placing her, perfectly on the hospital bed he sat, respectably beside her. Her harsh words from before had made his breath catch in his throat, though he deserved to be addressed cruelly. He deserved nothing but her hatred. At one point he'd been sure he'd felt that emotion toward her, but he could no longer muster it. All he felt was deep sympathy; pain for what he'd done. Damien felt stripped naked, and seeing the world through his real eyes was a sickening reality. Had the monster in him truly left him so blind?

Janet asked her question again, though more quietly, more sincere. And he decided, that after all he'd done to the poor girl... She could at least get concrete answers from her questions. Damien watched as the nurses retreated, whispering and making assumptions as to how her condition became so severe. He scooted closer to her, so he leaned against her hospital bed, so that he could see her.

Her questions hit him hard, causing him to swallow deep. Honesty was all he had at this point, the only strength having his walls being torn down for him. "You're very intelligent," he said quietly, referring to her spell; referring to everything. With that, he proceeded to her questions. "I was human, I was so very naive. I was constantly told to behave like a man. Apparently, being kind was not considered a desirable male trait. It mean that I was weak. My upbringing has always stuck with me. I was abused as a child, too... Pain was all I knew, even as a human... Of course it translated into causing other's grief, once I possessed the powers of a vampire," he smiled wryly at her. It was weak, it was a pathetic smile.

"Though all I had come accustomed to was a constant rejection of my character, at the age of 18 I met the most beautiful girl. And she was, inside and out... Somebody had finally loved me for who I was. She stole my heart - I'm pathetic, I believe in true love. It exists, it's magical... But greatness can only be short-lived. Victoria was her name, she was essentially, my everything. I lived and breathed for her. But this is beside the point, my miracle was also a vampire. It confirmed for me once and for all, that evil does exist." He took a deep breath, surprised at his lack of tears. He spoke about nothing too tragic yet, though this was the first time he'd revisited the memories of his younger days with someone other than himself.

Damien's hands played with creases in the hospital bed's blanket, fumbling with the fabric, fumbling over his words. He looked up to Janet, capturing her eyes, begging for her empathy. Was there anyway for her to understand where he'd come from? The inner struggle of a vampire was impossible.

"She wasn't evil though, not to me. She was sweet, she cared for me like no other. She only took blood from me when I asked. And we married. The night of our marriage she turned me, she promised forever. Forever only lasted a few days. She had some... Demons, in her past... She wasn't always the angel I knew her as. However, she'd changed... And I loved her fiercely, and she never deserved what happened to her. Many people don't deserve what's been done to them," with the last sentence he gave a pointed look at Janet, another - hidden - apology. Tears threatened to overwhelm him once more, he bit harshly onto his lip, nearly drawing blood.

If he couldn't mask emotion, he'd stifle it.

"Two vampires cornered her one night... We were out, I was learning to hunt. It was all so new to me. They grabbed her, they took her... And they tortured her. Slowly, painfully until her death. They ripped her to pieces, literally. And right in front of me. I watched as they destroyed her, physically and mentally. I won't get into the details... I can't," here, he choked back a sob, refusing to succumb to the emotion of the memory. It was still raw, fresh in his mind, especially now that it wasn't surrounded by his bitterness. "I tried so hard to save her, I gave my everything... But I was a new vampire, they were hundreds of years older than I. They staked me to a tree and forced me to see them abuse her, sexually, physically, mentally..." He shut his eyes, letting out a breath he'd been keeping. The memory made him feel sick.

"I sobbed until I had no tears left, I screamed until my throat bled, I struggled until my muscles became numb... It was over. My life was over. The only thing I had to rely on was this new beast within me. It fed off of my anger, my hurt - all translating into bloodlust. I suddenly went from being this innocent, loving and carefree boy to a blood hungry monster, with a wicked satisfaction for the cruelest torture. Oh Janet, the things I've done to get back at them - the tragedies I've created for innocent people... I couldn't even begin to describe... You have no idea." He'd killed almost as cruelly as the vampire's that had stolen his wife. Sometimes more.

"But it all stemmed from my earlier years, the only way I could cope was to surrender myself to the vampiric part of me. I twisted myself into something that enjoyed torture, fed off of it... Something I'd once despised, with every fibre of my being. So... So that's who I was, and what I've become." He let out a sigh, happy it was over. Even just a summary of his beginnings was a lot for him to take.

His eyes were watering, lip trembling. Everything felt much too overwhelming for him in the moment, but his eyes reached Janet's face, regardless. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to give you my life story... But it's the only way I knew how to explain. It's no excuse for what I've done... But the pull to throw away humanity, to give into the vampire... Until you've experienced it, along with knowing how horrible feeling emotion can be - while having he option to discard it entirely... Well, it's... Hard to understand; to even comprehend."

He finally stopped talking. Damien's voice had been quiet the entire time, his deep voice bordering on a whisper. He'd shared something very personal - something he kept entirely private - with Janet. Even if they were, perhaps, enemies... He owed her it. She should be the last person he trusted... And yet, he did.

ooc: haha, yes... hopefully she can stay out of trouble for awhile. writing a sappy damien is weird... heh. but fun. my post was very long and ramble-y, haha.

[Janet Numan]

Janet never expected much, and her childlike plea for a reason did not make her feel all that fabulous. However she got a rather big surprise, as Damien spoke, about his past. How old was he? This seemed to be a rather long time ago, such an old vampire, no wonder she had such a hard time, she general fought newer ones, saving them from such a fate. But most saving their potential victims.

She did a bang up job on this one. the once over confident vampire was reduced, put back and strangely simple. Her eyes paid attention not to his words but his movements, her ears tingled as she still had a hard time full comprehending a change any creature has.

“So there is a choice.” She said flatly at some point. However he continued explaining, and yet she still had a hard time coming to face the idea that this man she knew was not always that way.

Yet, she should have known. Terry her bother was a vampire. He had changed, not like this, but still wasn’t the same. And even though she hated what he was, she still got so upset when he was killed that rage, anger and hate filled her so much that she wanted revenge. And that nearly killed her.

And that was when she realized, when she awoke in the hospital bed. That everything needed to change. So in some ways she was familiar with his past, but hers took a different route, and was still on going.

“Being human is not naïve.” Janet started, almost like a lecture, but she was actually trying to understand. Janet did not have a way with words, and did not speak much to anyone, so forming the words was a challenge in itself, never mind to a man she full detested.

“How many years?” she asked not really needing to know how old he was, but it it started in his youth, lets face it the world had changed. “Targeting people who had nothing to do with you. I might not understand completely, but what I do know is that you can’t blame others for what happened in your life. If they killed her, it was clearly not because of what you did.” She said, knowing that she had killed then asked questions before.

“You said vampires cornered her.” She sat up as lying in that bed made her feel terrible. “When I was younger I found vampires to be the worst, that is why I picked them.” A tidbit of her own past, not what she had planned on saying, not that Janet had a plan most times. “You are well aware of why I could come to that conclusion.” She said to him, his acts, his mindset, and everything about him embodied the vampires she so wished to rid of the earth. “But I learned that you can’t blame everyone for a few.” She raised her voice a bit now. It was clear that his past did not justly explain away everything he had done. Yes she had hunted vampires, but what did she do to him?

She saved a girl. An innocent girl he tried to take. When he described the torment that the night held she could not help to reflect on events in her life, some with him. “If it hurt that much, why make others feel the same?” she lowered her voice again. It was a question she had faced, and made a choice. It was hard to live a normal life, but then again she was still human.

Janet had convinced herself a long time ago, that if she was ever turned, she would kill herself. Before she even had a chance to think and feel what a vampire would. It amazed her that so few thought that way. She was lead into this as a child, but got herself out. She was slightly tempted to show him what she really looked like, scars in all, but she still did not want to give him any more information about her or her magic.

<{(she speaks! lol )}>

[damien wilde]

fixated, sedated
NO ELECTRIC SHOCK COULD ERASE IT

and they die another day

[/font][/i][/center]

Damien finally took a deep breath, steadying his emotions, to appear stronger than he felt. Janet's plea for reasoning, said in a less judgemental way, certainly opened the door for Damien to speak. Trusting the enemy with his deepest pain was never a smart strategy, and perhaps she would call him dumb for his vulnerability... But he did so regardless, and getting the heavy emotions off of his chest left him feeling relieved, if only slightly.

He went back on what she'd said during his speech. "Yes. You essentially choose to feel, or to not feel... Every emotion becomes anger - you give yourself to the monster. It becomes you." Damien met her eyes, unsteadily. The calmness she suddenly exuded relieved him. He much preferred her with questions, rather attempted murder.

The slightest smile appeared on his face at her words. "That's not the impression I got throughout my life. Being completely human, filled with the overwhelming sensations of feeling... And feeling so fiercely... For me it's always been frowned upon. As a vampire, it makes you weaker... As a human, all it did was emasculate me." He breathed out again, ever so quietly. "Are you feeling any better?" Damien asked suddenly, a look of concern etching upon his handsome features. Even if he still felt the emotion of hatred from when his humanity lacked, he easily replaced it with intense feelings of guilt. He wanted to hold her, save her... Anything to erase what he'd done.

"How many years? He repeated, unsure... "Of living? I was turned at age 21, I am now 367 years old," The questioning look remained in his eyes, and he tilted his head ever so slightly. Inquisitively. "Of course it is both cruel and selfish to inflict my pain upon others... But once giving way to the evil inside of me... It didn't matter any more. I felt nothing for lives lost," he was being openly honest with her, and he hoped - although admitting to not caring - that it gave her insight into his behaviours.

"You picked them?" Damien said, hoping to make her elaborate. He was interested to hear about her life, as her hatred for vampire's clearly came well before he did. "Yes, I can understand why... I've hated vampires myself, obviously... For what they did to Victoria... I hated myself for being what they are - I still do. I only chose this life to be with her, eternally," he looked down now, saddened by the mention of her name. Why was he still able to feel the heartache of her loss, so many years later? Was it the deterioration of his emotions for hundreds of years? Did it force him to revisit the feelings he'd had prior to losing his humanity, that he hadn't properly dealt with?

He assessed her reactions, her words... Crystalline eyes wide, absorbing her personality while they talked humanely together. "I couldn't feel anymore, Janet... It hurt too badly, it was killing me inside. And when I made the choice to give up myself... It suddenly became that the world owed me - it paid me in blood, in excessive torture. Something I wasn't okay with when sporting true emotions... Yet... As a vampire, it felt right."

Damien leaned back in his chair. "Will this spell wear off? And if I remember feeling human again... Speaking with you, regretting everything I've done... Will that force me to discard the monstrous side of me? I would prefer it that way. I don't want to hurt you... Or anyone else. I would rather feel this pain, and not try to deflect onto someone innocent." He looked at the ground, wishing desperately he could do something to make up for what he'd done.

ooc: yay dialogue! what she really looks like? scars and all? now i'm interested! haha.

[Janet Numan]

The idea that this man was an enemy and a cruel creature that deserved nothing but her hatred, and for no better way to say it; death. Janet was having a conversation with him. In a way it was everything that she had been through that allowed her to look past things as she did, but who she was made things all the more difficult. Janet did not hang on every word, but she was the demanding child, wanting to know why, not with a curiosity but a angry and fire.

Janet slightly had to reflect on her life, when she was trained, she was told to forget emotions, and focus on the job at hand. Yes, anger did drive her. And it was unfortunate that anger seemed to linger…forever.

“Weaker.” She slightly chuckled, a small and sarcastic way. She recalled those sort of words when her teacher taught her to be the killer she once was. “It is sad to think I can compare the very idea.” She rolled her eyes, not hat him, but at her own stupidity. But she also did not favor his choices regardless. She changed without a spell, and learned in far less time too.

“I’ll live.” She said with a strange sort of sigh, how many times had she been an inch from death? The first time, that was what changed for her, she went though something, but really couldn’t explain it. But when she awoke in the bright white room, clean sheets and a bright day, she felt something. She has yet to understand any of it. She sometimes wonders if she really was suppose to die that day…

“And yet you still held the same grudges?” she pointed out, wondering who was the child in the situation, in a way she was not really a child, according to wizard standards she was of age two years previous. Perhaps it really was just a number. Her question was nothing but normal, but she had the opertunity to ask them, maybe she was taking advandate, but she really just wanted to understand. That was a big problem, no one could even really explain anything to her. This is bad, this is good, WHY?

“No turning back then.” She added, he seemed to express that once you go evil there was really no turning back, so maybe there was some hope for her? Maybe she wasn’t as horrible as she thought she was.

“Yes. They are sick and twisted. But in a way the weaker of prey.” She said looking forward, yes Vampires where not like that of lycans, or demons. To be a vampire you have to be turned, there was a process, but other creatures it seemed to be a lot easier for them to turn you. She hated them equally, but in a way Vampires where closer to humans, and they where more likely to venture out into the real world. “And one turned my brother.” She said flatly, not adding that he was later killed, she learned a lot in that time thought, a shifted focus from killing them, to saving hem. That only lasted as long as her bother lived however. The night her brother died, was the night she almost died as well. The night that changed everything.

“If you wanted to be with her so badly why not just kill yourself.” Blunt, to the point, and what can she say, she was Janet, and he was still a vampire. “Just saying.” She added, an attempt at being kind, but still came off as incredibly rude for sure.

Then he surprised her, “I didn’t even know it would work, never mind what if would do.” She said honestly, oh if she had found it before, tried it before… She was never that kind to her hunted. “I don’t hold much faith in the strength of my magic’s.” She added hinting that the length was clearly limited, in her opinion. She knew of the one thing that made her feel normal, strangely enough was the ability to change her appearance.

<{(Yes, she has blonde hair, and loads of scars and dare i mention numerous vampire bites. really that is all she uses her metamorphmagus ablity for, so no one really knows about it. lol)}>

[damien wilde]

fixated, sedated
NO ELECTRIC SHOCK COULD ERASE IT

and they die another day

[/font][/i][/center]

It was completely odd that the pair had went from brutal hatred - a hatred so strong that they'd both mutilated each other at any given chance. Somehow that was all lost for Damien. It fell away, it wasn't who he was. Somehow for Janet, she gave him the time of day and he was fucking thankful for her acceptance, no matter how small it may be. Maybe it was not existent. But he felt that he could talk to her. It was refreshing.

"You can compare? You must have had quite a life thus far..." Damien said so, sorrow entering his tone. Had he been causing an already pained girl so much more strife? He truly was a monster... Or had been.

Her answer made him frown. "You better live," he said. It wasn't said with any emotion other than pure concern. "I suppose you can call me crazy for holding on to such feelings for hundreds of years. I've always been a passionate person - about everything. I think it amplified..." Damien's answer was accompanied by a shrug, then with a sympathetic look at Janet.

"No... No, that's not true. You can turn back. It's just harder. It's painful to face what you've done over the years. Most just choose the easy route... To be without feeling. I chose it. But I'm not evil. I became convinced that I was, but I know deep down I'm not. I'll understand if you object to this theory. The vampire that I let take over was evil. I however, am not."

"Why do you hate vampires so much, in particular? Other than obvious reasons," he couldn't help but pry. And he was sure her deep hatred stemmed from more than a dislike for their nature. It was clear to him that he wasn't the first vampire she'd encountered. Perhaps Janet was truly an unlucky girl. Poor thing.

As soon as she mentioned her brother he said, "Oh... Is that part of the reason?" Damien then thought she should be glad that her brother was turned rather than killed. Most vampires weren't so kind.

"I suppose killing myself would have been easier. I'd be no closer to her... Like I said though, I felt the world owed me. Killing myself would be letting them win," Damien shrugged at his bad logic. When his thoughts were consumed with anger, revenge seemed to be the only thing that mattered.

"You just love casting spells on me," he said with a small sigh. "I'm so fucking hungry, I'm surprised I didn't maul one of the nurses," though it could have been taken evilly, it was said sadly, showing that his lack of restraint only came from a severe hunger. "So they'll both fade off. I'm sorry mine won't do the same." He looked apologetic at her.

Damien grabbed her hand for a moment, giving it a small squeeze. "Is there anything I can do for you other than leave you alone?" he asked. He would do anything she asked. Anything at all.

ooc: Well that's cool! She should show Damien. Then he could feel extra bad for being such an ass. Sorry for a lackluster post. Muse for sappy Damien is slowly dying.

[Janet Numan]

It was hard for Janet to even think about speaking like this with such a cruel creature. However she had been pushing herself so much to move past things that this seemed like a very opportunistic time. Perhaps she would understand a little more, regardless of how she felt about it. She really needed to understand more then just, they are evil. It was hard to get past these things when as a child you learned that there was no choice, just the filth that was.

“I wouldn’t think of it in that way. I much rather have been the idiot girl worried about shoes.” She was sarcastic, but truthful. She would have had such a different life, she could have been a normal girl, she could have been accepted. “Not much to bother with the past anyway, the present is what matters.” She said, having little thought about the past, and even less about the future.

She came to the conclusion that when there is no end then why bother with how much time had passed? It was not really all that logical to her, but hey she was the one in the hospital again. “Why, because once this spell wears off you are likely to cut out my tongue.” She said to him, in fact she was concerned about the after effects.

“If you always have the choice, then clearly you are evil. In whatever means you think of it. Muggles have blood banks, and there has to be far better alternatives then to continually torture humans.” She said getting fired up again, she looked around a second and tried to remain slightly calm, even if she was still a fireball inside.

“Really? You really want to know?” she rolled her eyes. “My first

[/i]experience[/i] with any creature was when I was merely 12 years old.” She hesitated, she had not ever said any of this out loud. “They thought it was a great game.” She scowled. “How do you learn to defend yourself? When you find yourself locked in a dark room with six vampires?” She said, not being all that descriptive about the day. Her trainer was the one to [/i]save[/i] her from the incident. It was only years later she discovered it was him that put her there, to sway her. Lets just say; It worked. “My brother died when I was 17. If anything he made me think twice.” She added, Terry was her brother, and she could still see her brother behind the vampire, a light somewhere inside.

“At least in death it would finally be over.” She said looking to the ceiling with a lightly tilted head. “So close, so many times.” She only just said it, there was a time that she just didn’t care, but somehow she kept on breathing. She closed her eyes, and did not open them. Her hair turned blonde, shoulder length and her soft face, which was scare free became harder with scars of scratches along he left side and under her right eye. Her right arm had a long jagged scar that looked newer then the rest, that happened at the masquerade ball at the school. It went to show that she was unable to get medical attention when needed. However the most noticeable was the numerous bite marks, not just on her neck, where there was plenty, but in random places. The oldest ones where from that first encounter on her face, her arms and legs, she was only just alive when she was saved. One thing that was good with vampires was they could nearly kill you, but you couldn’t be changed unless though their blood.

“If you are really sorry you would end this.” She scoffed at him. It was the thought of the what he would do with this spell wore off, because the first (spell), that wouldn’t last more then a few more hours, if she figured it right. “I am so sick and tired of all the crap I go though at this school, the younger students have no idea, such idiots.” She added. If she walked the halls just one day without using her magic to cover herself up, like the best make up artist, it would scare them into thinking twice at least. She would likely regret letting him see her magic, the one thing she had good control over, all the time.

She would let him see it for long, because she was very quickly back to the brown haired, fresh soft skin that she should have had. She only then looked at him. [/blockquote]


<{(It is not bad, but I have been slowing down a bit in posts, just got to get my head back into it i guess. )}>

[damien wilde]

fixated, sedated
NO ELECTRIC SHOCK COULD ERASE IT

and they die another day

[/font][/i][/center]

Damien nodded at her words, a slight inclination of his head. "The present may be what matters... But the past defines us. It needs to be fully acknowledged and accepted... That's something I need to do. Something I've neglected. Have you come to terms with yours?" His words were soft. He wasn't trying to play therapist with her, as he was hardly fit to do so. It was simply a casual conversation between the pair, where they attempted to put aside differences and understand where each other was coming from.

Perhaps he'd think twice before messing with her. Surely he'd remember how badly he felt for hurting her. And wouldn't he recall this odd heart-to-heart? At her next words he shook his head, "I hope not," he said, as there was no way for him to comprehend what would occur once the spell's effects dissipated.

"I can't argue with that. I let evil become me, so essentially I was..." Damien let her words sink in, and he did agree. There was no adjective other than evil to describe his behaviour for the past four hundred years. He couldn't avoid the reality of what he'd done. And Damien did notice how heavily his conscience started to weigh on him. It was too much for any sane person - even for a vampire.

"Yes," he breathed despite her sarcasm. "That's horrible," Damien said to her past. Even being locked in a room with one vampire was frightening enough. And at age twelve? "How did that happen?" It wasn't his intention to pry, but he was curious as to who would let a twelve year old girl be abducted by vampires. Had she been alone? "I'm sorry," was all he could say to the small bit of tragic information she shared. And he was. Especially with knowing he'd brought up those many demons himself, attacking her ruthlessly. Punishing her for his own sick games.

"Would you prefer death?" He wasn't offering to kill her, it was simply a question. Though the words died, breathily on his lips, as her eyes closed. He was fascinated by the transformation occurring in front of him. Damien was stunned to silence as everything about her changed. Her perfect skin was filled with scars, horrible ones at that. His jaw fell open and tensed, as he observed her - she was blonde. He would have never known. It instantly clicked with him that she was a metamorphagus.

Once she was entirely herself, Damien slipped on the bed beside her. Fascination was evident in his sparkling blue eyes, along with concern. If he didn't feel bad before, he did now. He was daring, reaching out to stroke her cheek, with evidence of wounds. He cupped her face, ensuring it wasn't an illusion. "How is this possible?" Damien's voice was quiet, not referring to her magic to hide it. Hell, he didn't even know what he was referring to. The fact that no young girl should possess such scars?

"Why do you always hide yourself? You're beautiful as you are," Damien said, an observation. He could see past the sins that others - that he - committed. He didn't say it in a creepy way as he might have before, not to get in her pants or something of that sort. He wanted to know why she wasn't comfortable showing her scars at all. There must have been plenty of reasons.

He pulled his hands free of her face. "I will end it now, and I'll try my best to keep my word. I don't know what will happen when the spell fades... But I will try," Damien spoke, uncertainty clear in his tone. He usually wasn't uncertain, and he felt strangely vulnerable admitting that.

She quickly was back to the Janet he'd come accustomed to. He saw her in a whole new light. He felt absolutely awful for what he'd done to her, with no comprehension of her past. Of what her scars suggested. Immediately he wanted to take it all away from her, and he was shocked by the strong instinct it brought out in him. He'd wanted to harm her so severely only moments before. Now he wanted to protect her. From himself, at the very least. "This school certainly leaves something to be desired. Afterall... They let me in," Damien's eyes left her face, now downcast on the white sheets.

[Janet Numan]

Come to terms with her past? Absolutely not. “I know what I have done.” She was not pleased with it at all. It was like a locked vault that she lost the key to, but throwing it into a volcano. She was trying, at least she thought she was, but thinking about it made her realize that it was not the same at all. Therapy sessions were about how she should create a better life, and move forward, but Janet was stuck right where she was, in between everything.

It was strange to see him with such… human characteristics. Not that humans could not be so evil, but they also wouldn’t suck you blood dry either. However the muggle world had problems of its own, and they where not demonic either, they where regular people that where just as twisted as the demons they fought. In a way it was a little easier to find them in magical world.

Evil was such a broad term, but it really was the only thing she could place in the situations that she had been in. Things where not so simple, even if she tried to justify them as so. Who knew what would happen next, and where she was going to end up. But how or why never really mattered to her, just hat things happened, and you have to get over it, which she really did not. “Stupidity, learning you’re a witch makes you think you can do anything. When someone invited me to a party I was so excited, but it was all a set up, I am sure it happened to others too.” She added. Why her trainer picked her she did not know, but he made his point, that she needed to learn the ways of magic to protect others from what could happen, like what did happen. She was so convinced that these creatures would stop at nothing, and they where no longer any human left.

She learned that it was not just creatures she should be concern about.

“Sure as hell have nothing to life for.” She stated matter of fact, the idea that she had survived this long was a miracle in itself with her less then excited view on living. She did not like anything about her life, and would have been far better off just being a regular muggle dreaming of magic as some fairy tale.

She was tense when he touched her, more then just a fear of being hurt but the open and exposed feeling that her real form gave her. How? It was stupidity, going on too long and not caring about the consequences.

She made a light laugh, really a scoff at the idea that she was at all beautiful. “We live in a world of magic, and perfection. No one would want to see or even understand anything.” She rolled her eyes, no this was who she was. She didn’t mention that her parents did not even know. They would not understand, and they would be so scared, it was bad enough the lost their son to magic, but their daughter too?

She very much doubted that things would be better after this spell came to pass, in fact she dreaded the idea of it. He knew to much, and she just the same. It was strange to think that this conversation ever happened, and would be a good thing if they both forgot, but then what would happen next, back to the cat an d mouse game, where Janet had somehow became the mouse.

“Such great security.” She added. The school had boasted about increased safety and security after the dance happened, so what happened? “You plan on staying here?” it was a fair question, the idea that he would be out on the world made her feel safer, but did not put her at ease either. So many choices she could have changed.